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Colored dots and furry cons

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Mar. 4th, 2013 | 02:17 pm

Many years back, I heard about an interesting convention used at Mensa events — hugging preferences indicated on your badge, in the form of colored dots. There's three of these:

  • Red: "I don't want to be hugged."
  • Yellow: "Please ask before hugging me."
  • Green: "Hug away!"

I've noticed that the willingness to engage in hugging – both giving and receiving – has declined significantly at Eurofurence over the years, correlating with the con's increasing attendance figures, and my feeling, based in no small part on my own experiences, is that people are simply more reluctant to hug strangers in a more crowded, less familial setting — and more reluctant to accept hugs from strangers, too.

So I've been thinking, why not adopt the Mensa scheme at other conventions, too, e.g. furry conventions, and maybe also brony conventions (not that I've attended one of those so far)? I'll be getting a bunch of stickers and bring them to EF, both for myself and for others who may want them, and I encourage y'all to do the same!

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Comments {4}

The Goddess of Smoo

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from: heathersmoo
date: Mar. 4th, 2013 05:14 pm (UTC)
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As someone who is not touchy feely in the slightest, I would love something like that, not that I typically go places where it is needed. But still, one of my biggest peeves is people touching me without my express permission. I had many acquaintances in college that greeted everyone with hugs. Because I'm not comfortable with that (mostly, and this sound crazy, but I just don't understand the mechanics of hugging having not grown up that way, like where do you put all your arms, it seems so complicated so I would rather pass) I told them several times that I did NOT want to be hugged and they would smile and nod and try to hug me again every time I ran into them on campus. Really infuriating! And they truly didn't seem to understand why I would seem annoyed or try to avoid them.

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Schneelocke

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from: schnee
date: Mar. 4th, 2013 05:26 pm (UTC)
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Ah, that's bad. :/ I'd probably not hug someone solely on the assumption that they'd be OK with it (unless it was in a situation where hugging's normal behavior to begin with), but even if I did, I'd certainly respect it if they said they'd rather not. That's just basic courtesy, really.

That siad, it's interesting how different people's attitudes towards hugging can be, isn't it? I have at least one good friend who, like you, isn't the least bit touchy-feely; they'd never hug me, and the most we do is shake hands, but even that's quite uncommon, thinking about it.

On the other hand, I vividly remember a situation from a trip to the USA a couple of years back where a friend and I'd gone to an Indian restaurant, a very small place with a buffet and just a couple of tables; my friend knew the owner quite well, and they shared a hug, and when I was introduced, the owner hugged me as well. I tensed for a fraction of a second, more because I didn't expect it than anything else, and then I relaxed and hugged him back. It was unusual, but it felt good, too.

(And the food was delicious. :))

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citrakayah.dreamwidth.org

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from: citrakayah
date: Mar. 4th, 2013 10:01 pm (UTC)
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As someone who does not liked to be touched by anybody I don't know well, that sounds like a brilliant idea.

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Schneelocke

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from: schnee
date: Mar. 4th, 2013 10:24 pm (UTC)
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Glad you like it! I'd love to see it catch on. :)

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