If it ever gets written, it'll be called Prin-cest is Win-cest.
Rolls right off the tongue, doesn't it? (Wait, that sounds rather dirty, too!) Actually, any takers? I know there's some writers on my friends list. :) Or does anyone know capable fanfic writers that take commissions?
EDIT, 2016-03-31: great minds think alike, as they say; deusexequus used the same phrase here in Ask the Princess of Friendship (with Benefits) (NSFW, generally).